Keep us safe from terror, please

You know what "tools" would help the U.S. intelligence community keep Americans safe from terrorists?

1. The ability to grant immunity to anyone who blithely breaks the law.
2. The ability to strip search arbitrary Americans Muslims on the streets of American cities.
3. The ability to shoot first and contrive evidence later.
4. The ability to grant unlimited no-bid contracts to large energy corporations that the Vice President used to work for. (Oh wait, that's a totally different vein in which to be careless and corrupt.)
5. The ability to install cameras in Americans' bedrooms and arrest those engaging in homosexual relations.

Just give me a fucking break already.